14. Nature Valley granola bars

13. pretzels

12. fruit fly carcasses

11. Chewable granola bars

10. Bananas (very ripe to overripe to Just a Buzzing Pile of Fruit Flies)

9. those fucking cashews

8. Any and all trail mix that contain chocolate

7. Fresh oranges

6. Pecans

5. Raw almonds

4. Pirate's Booty cheesy puffs (knocked down in rankings because what are you even doing on the healthy snack wall)

3. Apples (unbruised to moderately bruised)

2. Bananas (underripe to ripe)

1. Maple Glazed Pecan & Sea Salt Kind Bars