Please Tell the Sleepytime Tea Bear to Wake Up, His House Is About to Burn Down [Updated]

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WAKE HIM UP!

Update, 11:50 A.M.: After emailing Celestial Seasonings about fire safety and the Sleepytime Tea Bear, a representative sent Jezebel this response:

Your email made its way to me this morning – thank you so much for highlighting the current Sleepytime Bear controversy and this potentially dangerous situation! The good news is, Sleepytime Bear and his cat live in a tiny hut in the Celestial Seasonings tour center in Boulder, Colorado. Every evening, our Tea Tour Guides (they won’t let me call them Teapot Heads) tuck Sleepytime Bear in with a cozy blanket and extinguish the fire. He’s been dozing safely by the fire for almost 50 years – come see for yourselves!

In response to the comment about the Tension Tamer Princess – she’s on her own. We have been explaining to her for years that we don’t know what effect catnip, a key ingredient in Tension Tamer tea, will have on dragons. It relaxes humans, but it might make her dragon extra fiery. 

So there we have it: the bear is fine.