My apartment complex is hosting a new management party tonight and they are giving us FREE OLIVE GARDEN. FREE, MOTHERFUCKERS. As if their prices weren't already reasonable enough! Getting it free? Have I died and gone to affordable dining Heaven?

Best part, the apartment lady person who answered the phone when I called screaming "OLIVE GARDEN OLIVE GARDEN OLIVE GARDEN OMG" assured me as an apartment leasing professional that they would not just be serving the expected fettuccine alfredo or lasagna favorites. They are ordering the specials and lots more. IT'S CHRISTMAS, Y'ALL.

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ATTENTION MARK: BOOK A PLANE TICKET AND GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND EAT SOME BREADSTICKS WITH ME ASAP THANK YOU.

My only dilemma now is what to wear. I don't want to dress too fancy to upstage all the meats and cheeses and pastas but I also want to make sure I show my true love and appreciation for this moment.

Image via MY ETERNAL DREAMS.