Allen: when you have some free time, can you put the stuff that i put in the washer into the dryer?

Allen: and then put the remaining stuff in the ikea bag into the washer?

me: nope

me: not really my job

me: #realtalk

Allen: #butreally

me: #ok

(Allen read this and wanted me to add that the Ikea bag is the blue one you can buy and not one he stole. I don't know why he cares, considering that he accidentally walked off with a ten dollar decal that he put under the boxes of furniture we bought and no one scanned, but you know, priorities.)